Once we start to tap into these ideas–that we are the ones in control of our own lives, we can start to recognize the way we block ourselves in our everyday thoughts and conversations. And hopefully stop blocking ourselves from fulfilling our goals and dreams.
Maybe we can also notice how we’re preventing out children from realizing their full potential as well.
We judge and limit ourselves or our children by thinking or saying things like,
“I can’t because…”
“I’m the type of person who’s always…”
“I’ve never been able to…(therefore I will never be able to…)
“She doesn’t like vegetables.”
Many of us are in the habit of saying, and even worse– thinking, in this way. Before I started delving deeper into yoga philosophies and making all the connections, my friend Cristina started calling me out on my self-limiting language. She was gentle (I actually don’t think she even meant to do it… (Did you, Cristina??) but I eventually stopped speaking this way in her presence, and have pretty much cut it out in everyday life. Now I’m trying not to feel annoyed when I hear others use it!
One night, a few weeks ago, I really realized how common it is to do this to our children, too. (See the example about shyness or pickiness.) We’re not even giving them the chance when we say these things.
My kids thankfully aren’t shy or picky, but something I’ve said more than once: my son will ONLY go to sleep if I rock and nurse him.
I’ve rocked and nursed Bug to sleep every nap and nighttime for almost two years. Strapped close to me in the Ergo, boob in mouth. Why? Because he CAN’T fall asleep any other way. He moves too much to lie still and sleep. He’ll NEVER close his eyes if I’m not rocking him.
On that fateful night, it was late and I was exhausted. Papa was reading to Babe and I crawled in bed to nurse Bug. He did some acrobatics and was loud and distracting. Then he put a book over his own face and nursed to sleep. The next night, I planned for more of the same. Bug CAN fall asleep without being rocked. He nursed for a minute, rolled over and fell asleep. A week or two later and it’s as though this is the way it’s always been. I couldn’t help but wish I tried it sooner. Did I mention he’s pushing 40lbs?!
I gave Bug the opportunity to try something new. My wish is that we can all do a little more of this for ourselves and our children.